Monday, August 31, 2009

Day 1- NICU

And so the story continues...

Thursday August 27th, 2009

0025- We return back to the waiting area outside the OR where our Blaze was born. All of the Doc's are visiting. We take some more pictures of the very happy bunch (see Birthday post). I ask Dr. Soni if I can go and see KT, who is recovering in a small room just off of the OR theatre. I put on a green OR gown and head into recovery while Gerry goes to get J, her husband from the family waiting area. KT is groggy, but all smiles and says she feels okay. I kiss her cheek gently and tell her 'thank you' again. I tell her that it's a boy and he is perfect. She smiles big and it is such a great moment in time. J enters the room and I quietly take leave so he can be with his wife.

Everyone is outside still visiting. We tell Dr. Soni that everyone is singing her praises on their blogs and the SI forum. Clients from all over the world and from many different clinics. She is in shock and jokes to Dr. Yash that, 'I am still the crazy woman you knew from way back.'

0100- Gerry is starved. We head over to the restaurant in the Rogus Hotel, which is very close by Hirananadani hospital, and one of the only ones that is still open at this hour of the night. We go for a bite to eat and regroup from a long, long day. Gerry calls and leaves a message with the consulate that we won't be able to make our Thursday a.m appointment and will be coming the following Thursday, as he was able to arrange earlier in the day. We aren't able to see our Angel until the next morning, so we decide to head back to the hotel to get a good nights sleep and a hearty breakfast to start our day.

0900- We return to the hospital refreshed and raring to go. We immediately head down to the NICU and go in to see our Angel. Gerry is told he is unable to come in and can only visit during visiting hours from 5pm-7pm. This doesn't go over so well. He has only seen baby Blaze for a few minutes the moment he was born. We ask to have assistance with the 'big book' to register Blaze's birth certificate.

This is not an easy task and takes 5 requests from different nurses, doctors and Administration who pass by numerous times. Finally we get it taken care of, all written in Capital letters, you do not fill in the baby's name, and no mistakes!

1000- I head in to visit with Blaze just finishing his morning feeding. He is sleeping soundly and the Sister tells me that he has had a bit of vomiting over the night, but is doing well and tolerating 7-10cc's of feed every 2 hours. They let me hold him and I stare down at him for what seems to be only moments, but later find out that it was 45mins. No wonder my arms were falling asleep. Not to mention the sweat pouring down my back from the heat in the NICU. I am covered with a blue cap, mask and green OR gown. I try and give Blaze kisses through the mask but its just not the same. I talk away to him and tell him that he is our miracle baby, that Daddy is very sad he cannot see him and hold him. I am in awe at his perfect little facial features; round lips, little nose and cute little double chin (just like Papa -my Dad). It is all overwhelming and still surreal to know that this little Angel I hold in my arms is ours forever.

1100- I go back in after a few moments outside with Gerry, feeling his pain and sadness of missing his boy. The Sister feeds Blaze and I stand to the side, getting pointers on holding and burping. She has trouble trying to wake him. He loves to sleep. She tickles his cheeks and says, 'beta, beta, beta' which means son in Hindi. The Sister let me burp him. He let out a big burp and I tell him with a giggle, he is just like his Daddy. He is SO tiny, but not as tiny as the girls that surround him. One baby girl to his right is 1 kg and the other to his left is 1.5 kg. Blaze is a giant compared to these 2 little ones. He is the healthiest baby in the NICU. We change his little diaper and I get to see his cute little butt, back and black curls of hair at the base of his neck. He really is perfect in every way! We swaddle him up and my post partum nursing training from years past, starts to come back to me. I don't want to leave him again. I am savoring every single minute I have with him. Gerry and I head back to the room for a snooze.

1300- I am back just in time for the 1pm feeding. I am getting more comfortable holding Blaze. He suckled great as the Sister feeds him with a syringe and he eats all 10cc's, Great! I tried to help wake him to feed by rubbing his little hand, and he gave me a little grumpy frown. Both the nurse and I giggle at his many funny faces. Daddy sneaks pictures through the tiny window to the door entering the unit.

This time I swaddled him on my own and he started to cry as I left. It broke my heart for the first time. Just the first of many...I am sure.

1500- After his feeding, we head up to visit with Dr. Soni. We haven't been told anything from the nurses and do not know what the Pediatrician's plan is, as Blaze was only supposed to be in the NICU over night. His Daddy is getting very impatient and just wants to be with his son. Dr. Soni is her usual wonderful self and calls Dr. Mehta to get some information. She doesn't have the news we wished for...Dr. Mehta wants Blaze to be eating at least 20cc and vigorously before he will discharge him to our room.

1700- DADDY GETS TO SEE HIS BOY! It is such an emotional moment. Gerry cries tears of joy at the long awaited moment he can hold his son. He talks to Blaze and kisses him over and over again. It is such a beautiful moment it brings tears to my eyes. But, it is short lived when a mother comes in to breast feed her baby, Gerry is asked to leave. We are not happy. They cater to the 'Mom' only in the NICU. Which is very different from the U.S. What if I wasn't there and he was the only parent? What if he were a gay man and there was no 'Mom' involved? What then??? The frustration builds for both of us. We JUST want our son with us. We talk with Dr. Soni again as the nurses tell us Gerry can only come in to the NICU for a few moments during the 2 hour visiting period and then he must leave once Blaze's feeding is done. Why a 2 hour visiting hour then? Dr. Soni calls down to the NICU and tells them to allow Gerry back in to see his son for the remaining time he missed when he got kicked out. She is frustrated too. We understand it is a different culture and a different country but it is so hard when such deep emotions are involved. No one can tell us the same information, it always changes, you get a different answer to the same question. The rules change by the hour. But, the good news is that Dr. Mehta will be rounding @ 1030 pm and will meet with us after examining Blaze. So...again we head back up to our lonely room all alone.

2230- Dr. Mehta arrives as scheduled, but tells us he wants to see how Blaze does tomorrow. Still no Discharge. We are both very, very sad. What turned into just one night of observation is not what we had originally planned for. I try to keep positive telling Gerry this is just a few days of Blaze's life, and we have the rest of it to spend with him. That the Doctors are just being cautious and we don't want to do anything prematurely and end up with a sick little guy. It doesn't make it any easier for us though when all the other hospital staff Pediatrician's come out and say, 'Oh, your little guy is doing great! Still no discharge?' We both decided our stay at the hotel did us good and since we have just an empty hospital room with a very uncomfortable couch we would head back to the VITS hotel for the night and arrive bright and early to anticipate a Friday discharge. Fingers crossed...