Sunday, September 28, 2008

Weighing out the options...

Well we are still taking time to grieve but trying to look towards our future. Its certainly not easy with so many disappointments, but we are determined not to give up on having a child of our own.

We talked to both the Docs tonight. It was so wonderful to hear their voices and and with all 4 of us on the phone it felt like we were all just sitting chatting and laughing back in Mumbai. We really miss them. It is truly amazing how you can be 1/2 a world away and create such a special friendship with others. They really are much more then just our Doctors, they are like family to us. We feel blessed to have had them come into our lives.

We talked about our options and discussed what comes next. Gerry is currently in a 6 month active duty program with the Fire Dept. on the Air Force base here in AZ, so...that means we are not going to be doing any traveling for a while. Dr. Yash suggested I could come on my own as we still have Gerry's frozen sample in Mumbai. But he quickly responded with, "Yah right, like I am going to let her go and have all the fun without me!" I think its more about us being separated and so far away. We both find it very hard to be apart. Someone actually heard us on the phone the other day and asked Gerry if we were newlyweds. Too funny, after 10 years!!! It actually made me feel really great. I am a lucky woman to have such a wonderful man in my life and I can't and don't want to ever take that for granted.

Okay so enough of all that mushy stuff. So here we stand with some of our options:

1. Go back to India and try again with my eggs (but we need to decide soon as a women's hormones change every 3 months and at my age we can't afford to wait too long).

2. Use an egg donor (either Caucasian or Indian)with Gerry's frozen sample.

3. Possibly do both(1 and 2)in one cycle.

4. Start looking again into adoption much more seriously and determine first if we are even eligible.

5. Continue to try the old fashion way and see what happens. (The Docs here say there is no reason that I am not getting pregnant, just that there is a good chance I will be high risk if that happens) We got pregnant once before and implantation was good...so who knows???

6. Maybe try an IUI since its a lot cheaper then options 1 thru 4 and may just work!

We decided, for now we will definitely take some time to mull it all over and certainly work on option #5 until then.

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3 comments:

Amani said...

Why adopt when you can go ED and surrogate. At least then you have Gerry's genetic link.

Adoption is a long, hard and cruel process. Really think about that one ... the heartbreak of having a birth mother pull out at the last minute would be devastating. Inter-country adoption has a 2-3 year wait in the USA, and costs about as much as surrogacy in India. Then you have social workers invading your lives for years.

Why don't you try a few cycles of ED while Gerry is away, either with an Indian Ed or one from South Africa (the more expensive option, but I believe you may be able to egg share and share agency fees and travel and accommodation costs).

In the meantime, definitely go with number five ... and maybe even IUI to help things along.

How cool if you got pg yourself and got pg with an ED and surro in India ... you'll be like the Mikes ... babies everywhere.

Glad to see you're getting back in the saddle ... or the bed ...

Sarah said...

Rhonda,

Take your time in greiving and weighing out the options. I really feel that success will be in your future soon! You are going to be an awesome mom!

SarahC

Jo said...

I am one of Rhonda's crazy friends from work. I DO NOT look at you with pity, it is heartbreak. I know what a wonder gift a child is and it is hard to watch you go through this. It is difficult to see the pain daily and not know what to say or do. I feel like a terrible friend. I understand the disappointment in not getting pregnant, it took me three years, but I believe you will be a mom!