Friday, September 26, 2008

Well that feels better...

I got it off my chest! Mom called and I had a good cry and a huge pity party. She said I shouldn't be upset with others just trying to help and most of all not to blame myself.

I am not upset at others trying to help or not knowing what else to say. I just get frustrated when adoption is all someone has to give as an answer but seems to have little compassion of what we are going through. For the most part everyone is incredible I guess it only takes one comment of, 'Sorry, have you thought of adoption?' to set a person off...and yes that person set off was me.

If I hurt anyone's feeling again, that was not my intentions. It helps to pour out my feelings. Good, bad or indifferent that is what this is, our story of fun, pain, hurt, emotions and hopefully success...someday.

Thanks for listening and hopefully understanding.

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Sharon said...

HI Rhonda!

I saw a part of your post on Google Alerts and just had to read more! For many reasons I have not been a huge fan of the idea of India and Surrogacy however YOU are doing it!;-) And I am sorry for your heartache but please don't give up! Here in the states its pretty normal for a surrogate mother to agree to 3 IVF procedures in the contract...and there is a reason for that! Quite a few times it takes two or three IVFs to get a surrogate pregnant. I was a surrogate 2x and owned my own agency and in the last 10 years have been involved with or experienced a lot of the ins and outs of the surrogacy world. If you would like to chat sometime I would be more then happy to answer any questions that you may still have...

I wish you all the best!


Amani said...

My poor darling. It's not pity people look at you with in their eyes, it is disappointment for you and love for you. There's not a whole lot people can say right now that will comfort you, because this is your own journey. As much as we all want to take away your pain, we can't. But we do all know you fairly well, and know you will find a solution and when you do, you'll pick yourself up and dust yourself off and we'll still all be here cheering you along.

You have let NO-ONE down! Please try to get that one out of your head and heart. As Sharon says, it often takes three or four goes to get pg through IVF, with or without a surrogate.

This is not the end of the road for you and Mr G. (And if you think of quitting, I will fly to AZ on my broomstick and whap your butts with the hard end, okay?)

Much love

Am xx

Mike and Mike said...

Rhonda, Gerry,

Mike A. here...been trying to catch up on everything and finally had a chance to read completely through your blog.

Mike and I were heartbroken to hear about your results. Y'all are so positive, we were really gunning for you. But don't give up. Bull-headed persistence often gets the job done...and I say that from experience.

As for those who ask "why don't you just adopt?"...having gone through trying to adopt, I will happily beat them senseless for you...&@#%*!*%#!

Mike A.