Saturday, December 20, 2008

Just my opinion...

I am very hurt with some peoples perspectives of India and specifically Mumbai after some of their most recent surrogacy trips. They truly sound like spoiled, snobbish Westerners who have lived a life with a silver spoon up their butt. I fully agree with people having their own opinions and views, and know that they will greatly differ then mine, but when it offends and it is completely over exaggerated (in my opinion) then I don't think its fair.

I live in America and I am proud to do so, I am even prouder to say I am Canadian. If anyone were to insult Canada I would not only be completely offended but hurt.

The people of Mumbai are extremely proud people and love to share everything about their culture and city with others. We were told by our friends from Mumbai prior to going, 'It is very different and all we ask is that you go with an open-mind.' Before these last 2 trips to India I have never traveled outside of the safe and comfortable surroundings of North America and its Westernized culture. So in all reality I should be the first person to be in shock and disgust with the poverty and dirt of Mumbai. However it was quite the opposite. I was in awe with everything in a wonderfully enlightening way. I never looked down on the people or their city, but became enthused with there smiles and laughter and different way of life. Never did I frown upon these people or look down upon them. I stared in amazement and took every little bit in. I saw the poverty and dirt, but I also realized it is a city with the population of all of Arizona and a third world country, not my comfortable clean little home. I asked questions and learned as much as I could from our Doctors who have truly become like family to us now(I suppose that it one of the reason's I am upset, because I know for them, reading others comments will be hurtful to them). I smiled and giggled with joy at the children bathing in the streets outside there small little huts they call home while they laugh and play. I asked about a million questions and educated myself in culture, religious beliefs and just a completely different way of life then I am accustomed to. I never felt bad for these people or pitied them. I did however appreciate how fortunate I am to have all that I have and live the life that I do, but never once felt or acted like I was better then anyone. I never once was scared or felt intimidated, felt dirty or appalled with what I saw.

This is the country where my child will be conceived and I will be proud to say this and share this with them. I want them to learn like I did and appreciate the diversity in the world and what amazing, gifted, happy individuals the people from Mumbai are. No city or country is perfect. No culture is ideal. No one group of citizens are faultless, but these people are one of the most kind and loving generous, giving societies that I have come across in my lifetime. Their love for their city and all its idiosyncrasies is totally apparent when you see them. I am proud to have been apart of it and can say that I will have a life long tie to this culture and the awesome people of Mumbai. I can't imagine being apart of this emotional roller coaster and not having this kind of attitude towards the country or the people. If I in any way looked down upon this city and its culture I myself would be wondering why people wouldn't think I was even considering having my child being born there if that's the way I felt.

I know I will get some very harsh comments to this post from people I truly consider my surrogacy support group buddies, however I am somewhat disturbed at some of their views of this place I call my home-away-from-home.

I feel it is an unfair and embellished view of a place I have first hand knowledge of experiencing not once but twice. My journey is a journal of sorts to share with family and friends and our soon to be child and I want it to be as accurate as I can, but it is also a place for others to come and have a little light shed on a sometimes dark situation. I can't in all honesty scare others away from a hope that is often the last resort to the light at the end of the tunnel.

These are strictly my views and my honest opinion in how I see Mumbai. I am not ignorant to the facts but merely look at it with 'an open-mind' and positive attitude. It is certainly not meant to judge or question anyone else's intentions or their own opinions or stories.

Differences of opinion are what makes the world go round.

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Anonymous said...

that was wonderfully put rhonda, i totally agree with you about it all. mumbai is the most amazing city i have ever been to and the people beautiful.
i too was amazed at the reaction of some people who clearly saw it very differently to us.
good on you for saying it!!
much love

Rhonda and Gerry W said...

Thanks Sarah,

I am glad I am not the only one who see's Mumbai as beautiful from my first impression and on!

It is not an attack on one person. I have received and read many comments from others that come across as hateful and offensive and I wanted to set the record straight from my point of view. I am not interested in a child-like battle with anyone.

It's done! I said my peace and I am over it, moving on to the big and ONLY picture our baby!!!

Mandy said...

I believe you are right in your views and just wanted everyone to know how to come across a 3rd world country. Coming from a 3rd world country of my family background(but i was born in raised in the states) i must say i did feel like an outsider and a spoiled american but would NEVER call it dirty or pity people because they are actually happier than us. i think if u dont have certain things the less u want them. My parents would be so hurt if i ever said i pity or anything against their country, but i learned about their country and culture and cherish what i have.