Monday, May 25, 2009

Couldn't have said it any better myself...

One dear surrogate friend recently posted on another blog, and I am overwhelmed with emotion at how fitting her words were. Quite often I am asked, "How does it feel to have used an egg donor for your cycle?" Or, "What will you tell your child?" Trea's words really hit home and I couldn't have said it any better myself...

It might be a lot or it might be a little, but we would also tell them mummy's tummy was broken but her heart was not, and that we loved them so much we traveled across continents and oceans to be with them and that no matter what, they will always be our children.

Giving birth to a child does not define you as a parent - it is how you raise them. Make the way they were conceived and born a source of pride. If you are open with them, no one has anything to feel bad about. Children are amazing and all they want is the truth.

Finally we realized we needed to stop concentrating on 'getting pregnant' and start focusing on 'becoming parents' and if that meant that our child was not biologically related to one or either of us, then so be it - we would still be parents and love them unconditionally.

Thank you Trea for taking the words right out of my mouth. I am truly proud to call this child mine and she or he will never feel anything but pure 100% unconditional love from their Mommy.

We got to chat with KT on the phone a couple of nights ago. She is now resting comfortably at the SI clinic and it was so wonderful to hear her voice. We could picture in our minds, her sweet face as she told us that she was having a roti for lunch and she was "good", "feel good" and "baby good", she "missed us" and "loved us" and ended with "You come?" Although limited, it was a great chat and to just hear the joy in her voice and know that she and our baby are both doing well, means everything to us. We only wish we were closer and not 1/2 a world away, to travel and see her. Dr. Yash says KT's tummy is getting bigger and we can't wait to see it.

We Skyped with the Docs on Sunday evening and got to see our growing 'baby belly'(and boy has it grown since we were in Mumbai) and of course, KT's beautiful smiling face. She didn't stop smiling the entire time (and neither did we). She said the baby was kicking and it made her very excited and happy, YAY!!! The Doctors are keeping her a few more days at the SI clinic to allow her to rest some more and then she is moving into a place even closer to the clinic then she already was, just as a precaution. We are so very pleased the Doctors are taking such good care of her and our baby. We remind ourselves almost daily how grateful we are for both Dr. Sudhir and Dr. Yashodhara and the entire SI team. Without all of them, our dreams would not be coming true.

24.5 week Baby Belly

19.5 week Baby Belly

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jojo said...

what a beautiful baby belly that is! It must have been wonderful to skype with her and see how much it has grown for yourself.

and i agree 100% with Trea. It's not about genes, but love.


Mandy said...

Rhonda, i read your post and it truely is amazing how miles away someone can touch you in a way and the words are engraved forever. She is absolutely right and said it so right. what a cute belly and also you guys did an AMAZING job in the nursery...keep up the good work and inspiration for many of us (me especially)

Take care.

Kerrie and Mark said...

Your updates are amazing! KT and you guys have really bonded. Its amazing to read this as we just are starting our surrogacy journey.

Trea said...

Thanks Rhonda. That is very kind of you. Jojo is right...all of us who are trying to desperately to become parents know that genes make us WHAT we are but love makes us WHO we are. Glad to hear that KT and your bub are doing well and are safe.

Cheers Trea

Chantelle & Cyndi our life said...

I did not know where else to post. You helped us find our crib. They shipped today, both of them which is great because it said the crib was on back order. I guess they got them in 15 days early. YEAH