Happy Halloween!!!

Finally got a few more pics of our egg donor today. I stared at her for hours, imagining what our child will look like. I came to the realization...I don't care, I just want a healthy child and she is one of the important pieces that is going to make it all happen.

We had a bunch of trick-or-treaters come to work today. They do a big thing every year where we invite all the kids in Fountain Hills to come to the Nursing facility and the residents give out candy. Gerry came and we both dressed up as, what else...fire fighters. I fooled a few people though as they really thought I was one for real!!! Too funny, like I would know how to fight a fire?! Seeing all the little one in costumes and holding the new born that lives next door, made it more of a reality that we REALLY want a kid!!!!!

Mom and Dad R. arrive in a couple of days from the great white north. I know they are anxious to get out of that cold and down to the sunny Arizona dessert. We can't wait to see them and we get them for 5 whole months! I see them more now that I have moved here then I ever did when I lived in Canada. They got a new place last year in their park before they left so we will be busy fixing it all up to make it their home away from home. They say they are excited to see us, but I know they are more excited to see their grand-doggy Frankie. She is certainly Papa's girl!

Well its off to bed for me, but not before I give a shout out to our dear friends Lisa and Nic who just got the amazing news their Indian surrogate is pregnant. We couldn't be more happy for the two of them. CHEER'S!!!!

My husband...my best friend!

Been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Thinking it would be nice to have a best girlfriend to share girl stuff with. I have been so terribly burnt over the years I just end up not getting too close to anyone. There have been those friends who you move away from and loose touch and those that find something or someone else(usually a man)and then forget about you. Those that just stop calling out of the blue and those that you give your all to and they call on you every single bad moment they have then when you really need them they are MIA. Those that you grow up with and are friends for years and they let someone come between you and you never talk again. Boy do I have my share of stories! Not that I am completely innocent, but I do consider myself to be a very good friend. One that drops pretty much everything to be there when needed. I include them in family gatherings and go out of my way to make them feel included in most everything. I suppose after time you just get indifferent to it all and realize that friends are few and far between and so why put so much effort into it? I can't help think though how great it would be to have a childhood friend, or one I have known forever and have a million stories to share and laugh about. I was never your 'typical girl' either, I got along much better with the guys as I didn't like the way most girls were. All about the drama and backstabbing, petty ways that girls can tend to be. I guess I am the only one to blame for that. Still...would be nice to have someone to really share things with. I have a lot of acquaintances and friends I see or talk to every so often but not that one you call every other day just to chat about merely nothing. I am very blessed to have my husband as my best friend and I am certainly not wanting to replace him. We do pretty much everything together and I love that we get along so well. Mom would definitely take a close second to Gerry. So, I put all my energy into my family and poohy on everyone else! But still, there is a small emptiness there. I certainly have learned the hard way over the years...friends come and go, but family is forever!

SKUNK ATTACK!!!!

OK, so I am being a good Mommy after getting home from work late and decide while Daddy is at work I will take my little girl for a walk. We head out on our usual route. Let me say that Frankie is a great dog and never goes on a leash. We cross the street to the golf course where she heads over to her usual sniff area. I see her run towards something a few feet away and think, "Oh silly dog she is thinking the bushes are something alive". Jokes on me when I see something REALLY move and I shine the light on her leash towards it. A SKUNK, yep, just walking away with its tail in the air all proud! So...my sweet puppy walks over to me shaking her head and licking like crazy. Can you guess how I spent the rest of my evening??? Let's just say I love Google! I immediately searched the remedy for 'removing skunk smell' as the last time for her was 10 years ago in Niagara Falls at Grandma and Papa's place and tomato juice was the therapy of choice. Vinegar, warm water, Dawn liquid soap and baking soda is the current most popular way in case anyone is in need of a skunk smell removal remedy.


Last evening was much more enjoyable. Gerry and I went to the annual Arizona State Fair here in Phoenix. It brings back such childhood memories for me going to carnivals and fairs with my family. There were elephant rides and it made us miss India, SO much! We went to the petting zoo twice...OF COURSE!!! Rhonda the animal lover would not miss out on that. Camels, emu's, giraffe, water buffalo, zebra, pigs, ostrich, and a whole bunch more. Gerry had to tear me away from feeding each and everyone of them as I couldn't leave anyone out! We ate fair food, walked and watched people play games and ride the rides and even went to the Sheryl Crow Concert included in our fair admission. Yes, Gerry is NOT a huge fan of Sheryl Crow for the record, but he went for me! It was a fabulous night, although it was break for all the school kids and it was tough seeing family after family with 4 and 5 children and all sorts of pregnant teenage girls . Its so hard sometimes when all you wish for is 1 and so many people are blessed with such big beautiful families. But we remained positive saying we will bring our children someday to enjoy the fair. Eat fair food and watch Daddy as he tries to tear them and Mommy away from the animals at the petting zoo.

I am totally pooped from hours of scrubbing and bathing my white girl Frankie (I hope she knows how much she is loved!) so its off to bed for me.

A weekend get-away.

Well we decided to clear our heads and go away for a day this past weekend. We drove up to Pinetop (about 3 hours north) stopping at antique places on the way. Gerry made a special bed in the back of the Durango for Frankie so not to be hard on her back legs. She is the Queen afterall! We had a relaxing time in the cabin with a roaring fire and cool fresh mountain air. We went fishing and walking on the trails and fed the ducks. It was a fabulous time!

We reviewed our donor profiles and talked a bunch on the trip and finally decided on a beautiful young 21 year old Muslim girl from Mumbai area. She has long black wavy hair, dark brown eyes, small facial features (like me), and a beautiful smile. She is a petite woman(hard to find a tall woman in India)who is a housewife and enjoys singing and cooking. Gerry hopes the later rubs off on our child as I am not a domestic goddess by any means! Dr. Yash said she has good eggs and just had a previous successful donor pregnancy a few months back. So...she has started on her BCP's and Rekha has as well. We are hoping to be doing a embryo transfer sometime in early December at this point. The Docs were sad we won't be able to travel for the transfer, but 3 trips to India in one year is just a bit too much. We assured them we will make the trip next year in August to pick up our newborn.

We are really excited about this decision and are hoping and praying this will be the answer to our prayers.

Sometimes God is so cruel...I was 4 days late this month with my period and thought forsure all my positive thinking had us pregnant, but old Aunt Flow reared her ugly head after playing with me for days! Oh well, back to the drawing board again. Besides I wouldn't have been able to travel to pick up our little one had I been pregnant this close to transfer.

Will post some photos of our lovely weekend when we get our computer back from the shop and up and working... SEE Sunday, November 23, 2008

What a wonderful surprise!!!

1045 pm last night the phone rang and it was Dr. Yash. She called to say that Rehka our surrogate wanted to speak with us but that it wouldn't be for another hour or more as she had to travel to the clinic and asked if it would be too late. Of course I wouldn't give up a opportunity like that! So I tried desperately to fall back to sleep while I waited, but no such luck I was much too excited. Unfortuneately Gerry would miss out as he was working. It was so wonderful to hear her voice say 'hello Rhonda, how are you?' Dr. Yash helped translate as she told me how her son was so fond of Gerry and I and keeps asking when we will be back. She proceeded to say that when he found out his Mom wasn't pregnant he told her that maybe he hadn't taken good enough care of her. It made me sad to think that a 13 year old boy would even burden himself with such a task, but so completely touched that he would and had done so dilegently. What an amazing young man! I told her to be sure to get her Christmas list together for the whole family as we needed some ideas for gifts to send. We laughed and joked about how she wished I was there during the recent Devali festival so we could go shopping together. She said she is absolutely ready to try again for us. Dr. Yash ended by telling me that Rekah had called her to ask if she could make the trip (a long trip at that) to the clinic that day just to talk to me. I was completely touched. Needless to say I got very little sleep last evening after that as I was on cloud nine the rest of the night...it was well worth losing a nights sleep in my books!!!

This is SURREAL!!!

We got our first batch of donor profiles today. I took some time at work to print out all their profiles and the photos. WOW! This is so completely different then choosing a surrogate who will carry your child, this is a complete genetic link. Now that these beautiful women's faces are here in front of me it is really starting to sink in. WHOA...this is huge! Gerry is on a 24 hour shift at the Fire Dept tonight so he won't see them till tomorrow. I am so anxious for him to share these with me. Dr. Yash called and we chatted all about each of them. Their personalities, their families, their physical features, their education, everything. It was really neat! I am truly at a loss for words. I can't even begin to express the emotions I am feeling right at this very moment. Its like looking at a complete stranger and thinking to yourself...'Well does she look like I would want her to be part of my child?' Something I had never in a million years imagined I would be doing. It is a great responsibility and delicate decision. I am overwhelmed with emotions as I type this and look over at these Indian woman's photos surrounding me. They are gorgeous, with long dark ebony hair and stunning dark eyes with fair skin and beautiful teeth. They are educated and young and artistic and have all had positive pregnancies with donating their eggs before. I wish I could share them with the world. This could very possibly be one of the women who will be apart of our child forever. This is REAL.

Patiently waiting...

We are still waiting for donor profiles and are extremely anxious to see them and make our choice. We are really excited about the idea of moving along in our journey in a slight different but exciting direction. If all goes as planned we will be starting another cycle as early as end of November.

We are both keeping busy with work and household stuff. Here are some of our latest photos. A picture of our newest addition...an 18 foot saguaro cactus (only found in this part of AZ) and me all dressed up for work in my salwar kameez we got in India.

Love CAN last a life time...

Gerry keeps bugging me that I still haven't posted for October...so here I am!

Well we are getting back into the swing of things, work, preparing for winter(if you call it that in sunny AZ) and getting ready for Mom and Dad to come snowbird for 5 months. November 2nd is their arrival date and it can't come soon enough. We have picked ourselves up and dusted ourselves off and are moving forward in a positive direction.

I often wondered if love truly grows with couples after being together so many years and I realized this past week it certainly does. My parents have always had the 'Leave it to Beaver' marriage for the past 40 something years, but that was a little close to home and I hoped for even a little of what they share in my own marriage. As many of you know I am a Director of Nursing at a long term care/rehab center. I visited with a couple of my patients the other day. One little old man and his wife were celebrating their 70th (no joke) Wedding Anniversary. They were all smiles and when I asked him at one point where his 'beautiful wife was?' He replied without hesitation and a huge smile that lit up his face, 'and you know Rhonda she gets more and more beautiful to me every single day!' It truly brought tears to my eyes. The other couple were sitting on the couch holding hands and I went over to do some 'nursey' stuff and they were chatting about how they had been married for 68 years. I smiled and said, 'how absolutely wonderful that was.' She looked up at me and beamed,'it is so wonderful to spend every day with my very best friend.' Okay, at that point I truly lost it! I had to walk away as I had tears rolling down my face. I know you are all probably thinking this is all way off topic to what our entire blog is all about, but I don't believe so. Through all of the struggles, disappointments, heartache, exhaustion, hormones, tears and so much more, Gerry and I continue to fall more in love every single day. I am proud to say after 10 years (since we met back in Oct.1998) that I truly am blessed to have my best friend and soulmate by my side. I truly cannot imagine spending forever with anyone else than him.

So on to the surrogacy stuff...
We have talked and discussed till we are blue in the face and we have decided that we are going to go ahead with egg donation very soon while we continue to try on our own. We won't have to make a trip back to India for this until our child is born because Gerry still has his frozen 'back up' sample there. But we may just go back 1/2 way through since I am sure we will be going crazy with anticipation. I was having some hesitation about it not being 'my baby'. I have talked with some people on the forum who are going through this and talked with friends and family who have all been extremely supportive and insightful. I am still the baby in the family and my parents opinions have, and will always be important to me. I called and talked with my Mom and she made me cry. I guess it doesn't take much for tears these days. She said, it WILL be my baby and no matter what we decide they will both love that baby as if it came from my belly. Her and Dad are 100% in favor of us using donor eggs Indian or other. My dear friend and co-blogger Amani said the most amazing thing, 'Also remember, you love Frankie to bits and she has no genetics from either you or Gerry, not even a human! Love just is.' She is so RIGHT!!! It will be our child and I will love it like no other. A baby is a miracle and we will be the best, most amazing family together. We will work through others ignorance if it comes and we will talk to our child and tell them how they were created and they will know they were brought into this world because of our love and desire to have them. Gerry on the other hand is having absolutely no hesitations he is ready for our family and as he says, had we adopted it would have been neither of our genes and we would love that child like it was our own.

We are proceeding to the next step. Picking our Indian egg donor and deciding which factors our important to both of us. We both agree certain traits like intelligence and arts or musical stuff are a learned behavior, maybe that goes against what the experts say, but my sister has a beautiful voice and you don't want my parents or any of us other kids to sing! As far as physical traits...I don't really know, I think when we see our donor we will know she is the one! Our wonderful surrogate has agreed to try again with us. She has the opportunity to go with other couples soon, but when the doctors asked her if she would wait for us to decide what our path would be and that it may be 6 months or so, she told them she was honored that we wanted her and she would absolutely wait. So, for those people out there saying Indian surrogates are forced into this...I say that's just a load of S@%T, just listen to our surrogate and decide!

Gerry has been following the India news on-line and misses our wonderful Mumbai and Docs daily, he is ready to go back and even said tonight,'can't we find a way to work there half of the year?' I finally hung our beautiful curtains we purchased while in Jaipur and it is wonderful to look at them every day and remember our fabulous vacation.

Will keep you posted and I promise Gerry will be back with some more tips for you future India travelers. Stay tuned...